Making Lemonade

My sister Amy tagged me with this "Making Lemonade" meme (which is a very strange word, I might add, that I was not familiar with -- it basically means a question or series of questions you see on a blog and copy on your own blog, often through "tagging").

I'm supposed to post all the rules, but since I don't plan to tag anyone else (I don't read that many blogs!), I will just post the "question":

* Write about an incident in your life you first thought was really bad, but ended up being a blessing.

I have been thinking about this question and have certainly thought about several experiences in my life that have taught me lessons for the better. But I think the experience that best fits this question is one that happened not so long ago.

In the Fall of 2006, Brian and I decided that we would try to add another little person to our family. I became pregnant and we decided not to tell anyone our news for a little while at least. I scheduled my first OB/GYN appointment but it wasn't going to be until I was about 9-10 weeks along. We were excited to be having another baby (although the thought was a little overwhelming on some days) and after having gone through so many years at the beginning of our marriage of infertility treatments, we knew what a blessing it was.

When it came time for my appt, I remember thinking that I had usually started to feel some effects of morning sickness by then, but hadn't this time. My doctor did an ultrasound, as is customary, and told me not to worry yet, but the baby wasn't the size it should be for 10 weeks and I probably just had my dates a little off. He said to come back in a couple of weeks for another ultrasound. I left the office and just knew that something was wrong. I knew my dates weren't off and sure enough, the next day I started bleeding. Over the weekend, I had a miscarriage and spent several hours in the ER. There were a lot of tears and sadness and we were so grateful for the support we got from our family and friends.

About a month after this happened, I started having a lot of problems with pain in my lower back and left leg. An MRI was done and I was diagnosed with a herniated disc in my lower back. It got to the point where it seemed like every 5-6 days, I would end up flat on my back in bed by early afternoon and not able to move (which makes caring for 4 busy children difficult!). Over the next several months, I tried a series of steroid shots, which helped a little at first but didn't seem to do much until I finally went to see a wonderful chiropractor who has helped me tremendously with a decompression treatment combined with some therapy and exercises.

I remember thinking at the time that it was actually probably a good thing I wasn't pregnant, or I wouldn't have been able to do even the steroid shots or take a lot of the medication. And later on in my treatment, my doctor told me that he strongly recommended I not get pregnant again or he felt it would effectively "ruin" my back. As Brian and I talked and prayed about this, I knew that a pregnancy would be extremely hard on my back because of how low I carry my babies (probably a big contributing factor in why my back had problems in the first place!). And I couldn't even imagine having a baby/toddler and not being able to lift them or carry them around.

So, we are a family of 6 and barring any great surprises, are going to stay that way. (I'm certainly not getting any younger!) It was a difficult decision to make and there are times when I watch moms with babies (or watch my kids interact with babies) and I'm sad that I won't have that again. But we are at peace with our decision and realize that we are extremely blessed to have our four beautiful children.

So there's my "lemonade" story -- at the time, a miscarriage was very difficult and hard, but looking back, it was a blessing due to the unforseen medical problems that came my way shortly thereafter. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father knows what is best for us even though we might not at the time.

Thanks, Amy, for the nudge to reflect a little!